Sometimes Life Just Reaches Up and Kicks You In The Butt!!!

Yes, I know that is a weird title for a post, but it's been 20 days since I have written a post so it needs to be dramatic, don't you think?? Not to mention the fact that is exactly how I feel right now.

This month has been a month I would really like to forget and fortunately for me, I have some short term memory loss...because I am already forgetting some of the less eventful parts of it.

I want to start off by saying that I slept nearly 10 hours today and I'm still tired, so as soon as I am done with this post I'm going to go back to bed! I have had a sinus infection this week and usually when I get a sinus infection I just sleep or lay around the majority of the time. This time -- not so much! I have had to work, although I did take one night off. Just couldn't do it...so weak and tired, and I slept all night with the exception of about 30 minutes that I got up to eat something and put That Other Kid back to sleep.

Let's start this post with the beginning of my tragic tale. You know how the mechanics always tell you to "change your oil every 3 months or 3000 miles?" DON'T IGNORE THEM! NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, CHANGE YOUR DANG OIL!! BEG, PLEAD, BORROW MONEY...JUST CHANGE THE OIL!! Why am I talking about this? Because I ruined an engine this month by NOT CHANGING the oil and it's going to cost us a measly $2000!! Just when we thought we were going to finally make enough money to pay ALL the BILLS for the month!! Oops, not gonna happen this month. Fortunately, we found an engine with only 39k miles on it for $1000 after spending the entire weekend on the internet searching for sites that might have a new/rebuilt engine for our slightly old truck and our "normal" mechanic is going to let us pay him off in installment payments. It pays to do business with people who understand tough times.

Next up, in my crazy month -- 3 drivers trying to share 1 vehicle. That would be the car for That Kid who lives in the dorms 30 minutes away. He doesn't have a lot of places to go right now, but I have to work Sunday night through Friday morning which means I have to have a car to take me there and get back home. He has class at 9 am Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and did I happen to mention that it takes me 45 minutes to get home from work if I leave right at 7 a.m. (sometimes it happens that I don't get out of there till 7:15 or later, too) and him 45 or more minutes to get back to school in the morning rush hour?? And then let's add in the fact that since dh has been getting busy with work again (can you say THANK YOU, GOD???!!!) he has had numerous appointments as well!! It's been a scheduling nightmare some days!! But we have been managing it although there are times it has been a major hassle and we have had to rely on friends to get us places at times, we have managed. We are hoping to get the truck back by the end of this next week. I'm sure That Kid will be happy to have his car back, too! I'm so glad I raised a good kid!

On the healthy lifestyle and fitness side of my life...it has kind of s*cked this month although I have not gotten too out of control. I have consumed more cokes and junk this month than is my normal. A couple of the ladies I work with overnight have noticed that I am not eating as well as normal and that really means I need to watch it I will fall into some seriously BAD HABITS!! Time to say goodbye to those cokes and candy bars during break time!! I haven't exercised HARDLY any but I did manage to go from 193.2 on the 7th of April to 189.4 this past Wednesday. That's almost 4 pounds I lost this month....of course, I should have lost 4 pounds from this low of 189.4, but WHATEVER!! The Spring Fling challenge is over wtih at the Sisterhood and I didn't meet my goal of weighing 185 by the end of the challenge but I am pleased with myself that I have not let the circumstances of my life TAKE CONTROL OF ME and ruin everything that I have worked for the past year. I also bought myself a pair of pajamas this morning before coming home from work (because all of mine were FALLING OFF me and although my dh likes my jammies falling off me it is hard to sleep with them sliding off my hips!) and I was able to buy a size 12/14!!! I rushed right home and put them on and they FIT GREAT!! I can't tell you how happy that made me feel! I just might have to buy another pair!!

I am now working on the sales floor and so I am not busting my butt with heavy manual labor every night so I am going to have to start really working out again. I have to say I am looking forward to exercising consistently again. I have missed it sooooo much. I wanted to start again this past week but with the sinus infection I barely was able to minimally function. I am happy to report that I think the medication is working so I am hoping to at least do some basic exercising tomorrow. Maybe not bust my butt, sweat a ton, exercise but at least get the heart moving again. I'm looking forward to it!

In other news, That Other Kid has been doing an amazing job of entertaining himself while I have been sleeping during the day. He has been playing with legos and creating some awesome "inventions". He has also made our living room a skateboard park a couple of times this week using books from the school bookcase along with all his supplies of Tech Deck skateboard ramps. However, he has complained (numerous times) that he needs a skateboard ramp with stairs so that the skaters can go up and down the stairs and "grind". Where does he come up with all this?? Oh yeah, he has a big brother!! Not to mention, if it is "an extreme sport" he is interested in it!

He has been doing school over at a friend's house and has completed one of his math books for the year already. I need to pick up the pace and get some school work done in the afternoons here because I feel he is falling behind with his reading/phonics work. Math and handwriting he has down pretty well. Science we do with a class every other Friday so that is taken care of although I would like to do some simple experiments at home. That leaves Geography and reading/phonics for me to take care of in the afternoons. I haven't really figured out how to "do it all", but I think now that I am no longer having to work so hard physically at work it will be easier to handle some more things at home. I hope so anyway!! My house is a wreck and my kid has been ignored long enough!! Let's see how it works this week...and hopefully I can report in with good news next week.

I hope ya'll have a good week and remember....DON'T NEGLECT YOUR VEHICLE!!! A public service reminder!!!

Being Afraid....

Lissa brought up a very interesting topic the other day that has had me thinking ever since I "kind of" read it from my itty bitty blackberry screen at work. Since then I have gone back and read it a number of times. It really spoke to me. Go here to read it. She's talking about her Phobia of taking gym classes. As I read it I could totally relate. I was a member of an area gym for several years and only took a couple of classes. The classes I took were AWESOME and I benefited from them, BUT I always felt like I shouldn't be there. The instructor was so toned, the other women in there were young and in awesome condition and, in my opinion, didn't need to do another abdominal workout. They mostly had six-packs. Me, not so much. At the time I was taking this class I couldn't do 75% of the workout. I felt like a failure so I quit attending. But...I learned that all I needed to do was push myself and I could improve, from attending the class. The instructor never did anything to purposely make me feel inferior. It was, as they say, "all in my head!"

Fast forward 2 years to today, I have since stopped going to the gym. I workout completely on my own at home, and I LOVE IT!! I don't compare myself to anyone but I like watching Jillian and her "main girls" and the others on the dvd's and games that I do and seeing on the tv screen what I can be if I am persistent. I compare myself to MYSELF -- Myself from last spring, when I weighed 225 pounds. It's not so much a comparison but a "I can do this. All it is going to take is A LOT of hard work and persistence." I have come so far, but I still have a long way to go.

This brings me to my current phobia. And boy howdy, it is a doozy. This phobia is different kind of phobia. It is a phobia of not having the time/energy to exercise consistently and falling right back into the BAD habits of not working out and eating junky food and drinking coke. I have noticed it happening this past week. I only exercised on Tuesday, and Saturday of this week. BAD!! I was so tired all week that I just didn't take the time to do it. I don't feel like I slept well and was sluggish all week. That should have been a sure sign that I should exercise, but I didn't. I just got up in the afternoon and did piddly things around the house, checked emails, paid some bills, prepared dinner, and went to work. While at work I continued to feel sluggish and tired. We had a slow week, with not a lot of physical labor involved and that probably contributed to my sluggishness. I have become accustomed to "busting my butt" at work. I actually like it that way. It keeps me active, mentally and physically. I'm hoping that this week will be better while at work, but that doesn't help me while at home.

I need to get over my phobia -- stop being afraid of things I can change and just get up in the early afternoon and exercise. Stop worrying about what other things are not going to get done if I take 45 minutes for myself. I have come so far (losing 37 pounds) and still have a long way to go. I can't let myself slip back into bad habits and the way I see it the best way to accomplish that goal is to make sure I have healthy food and drink choices and I exercise every chance I get. There will be some days that I simply can't exercise. Wednesdays and Fridays are probably the days I should just plan on NOT exercising as they tend to be my roughest days, but there is not an excuse for not exercising the rest of the week.

So...what are you afraid of?? Whatever it is, KICK IT IN THE BUTT!! and prove to yourself and others what you are made of.

Thanks, Lissa for sharing your phobia and letting me see how you kicked it. It helps to know that others are dealing with fears in positive ways.