Time To Confesss...

It's True Confession time over at the Sisterhood and I feel like I need to get some things off my chest, and butt, and hips, and definitely my stomach! What would that be, you might ask? SOME FAT!! and some extra weight would be the answer!

I am struggling with the whole eating right, and exercise thing right now. I have been exercising every night; a minimum of 20 minutes but there are nights when my heart is definitely not in it. I guess my heart doesn't really HAVE to be in it, but it certainly makes it easier to do if it is. For the most part I have been working out 45 minutes every night and I have to say that I really do LOVE exercising MOST TIMES! Of course, there are times when I don't but I think that is normal for anything I do!

The "eating right" aspect of this is not going too well right now. I have no one to blame but myself, and I could say I am stressed out and don't feel like eating right. That would indeed be the right thing to say, but I want to blame anyone and anything else that I can, so I'm going to say I'm hormonal and keep craving salty, crunchy foods as well as chocolate! I have been caving into those desires more than I care to admit this week.

This weekend I went to Sonic and bought a 32 ounce Coke with easy ice and then I bought one of their Valentine's Blasts. VERY, VERY BAD for me, but they both tasted REALLY GOOD!! At least for the few minutes that I was inhaling them.

I am beginning to feel like I am a broken record/or CD for you youngin's! Every week I fail at meeting my goals, but like April said yesterday FAILURE helps us improve! So I can safely say I am improving....

Bizarre Thoughts From the Bathroom

I should save this post for Tuesday's edition of Tiny Talk, but I will probably forget it all by then and it probably won't be a funny then either!

Here's the scene...it's 9 p.m. on Sunday night and That Other Kid should be in bed asleep but alas as usual for children, it's time to go to bed, so it's time to delay it..."I think I need to poop, mom!" Ok, just get it done so you can go to bed, so I can exercise!

Next thing we know comes questions about a Star Wars episode that he watched with dh YESTERDAY! Don't ask me what it meant, Star Wars puts me to sleep! I do know the main characters and a few scenes but only because it has been a staple in my household for the past 25 years!

Then he moves on to talking about how OLD Star Wars (the original) is. "Star Wars is SOOOO OLD cuz dad watched it when he was like a child (only 11 years old) like just a little older than me and everyone knows that was ALONG TIME AGO!!" Then he transitions to telling us that "Tom and Jerry" is sooooooooooooooooooooooo very old and that he's surprised that shows that OLD could still be on tv...especially since we watched Tom and Jerry when we were 'just childs'!!

Amazing how 2 parents that are soooooooooooooo very old could parent a smarty pants little boy and survive the rigors of day to day living, huh?

Monday's Project: Something Different!

This week's homework assignment for the Sisterhood: Do something I have NEVER done before! Change it up! Challenge myself by getting outside of my comfort zone and outside of my "box" of normal!

This week's assignment was actually the easiest assignment yet for this challenge. A friend of mine had loaned me a couple of Pilates DVD's and they had been sitting on the shelf for a few weeks. I always made an excuse to NOT do them.
I am finishing up this exercise routine, I'm too tired, I don't want to do it, blah, blah...

Well this week Christie said "Do it" and I like to follow along, so I thought about it for a couple of minutes and decided to do this Pilates DVD! I have always wanted to try Pilates but everyone I had ever talked to about it said, "IT IS SOOOOOO HARD!!" Honestly, that scared me off, so I just never did it! Not to mention, I would have had to go to a class with a bunch of "skinny minny's" and I didn't want to embarrass myself that much, ya know? Well I did this in the privacy of my living room and OMG it was soooo hard!! But it felt really good to work out like that and know that although I was not able to do a lot of the ab work the way I was supposed to, I made it all the way through the 54 minute routine! I did it on Wednesday night and I am STILL SORE tonight nearly 48 hours after completing it! Wow!! What a workout for those whimpy ab muscles! BUT -- I plan to try to incorporate this workout into my WEEKLY routine. I want to try and do this 1 time per week (at least right now) and see what difference it makes in my overall appearance. Maybe if I do this once a week I can start seeing something besides flab when I look at my stomach in the mirror! lol! Eventually, I can even get to the point where I have "muscle definition" and a 6-pack!! Not that that is my goal but a flat stomach sure would be a nice change!

Overall, I would say this is an excellent workout and a great way to work my less than stellar ab muscles! I am grateful that Christie asked us to do something different, because I probably would have just 'never bothered' and returned the dvd's to my friend and said "thanks for loaning them to me, but I didn't do it because it "looked hard"!!

So...thanks Christie! You are the best!! Now I have a new workout and one that will work my weakest link (my saggy abs!)

Weigh In Time -- Let's Get Honest

It's weigh in time again with the Sisters and I have to tell the truth here...I almost decided just to "forget" all about posting my numbers and blog today. I almost said "screw it". No one wants to hear my misery. No one really cares about the pathetic numbers on the scale this week or this whole challenge for that matter. Besides I don't really want to bring everyone down because I am having such pathetic success this time around.

BUT...I decided that maybe my misery can help someone out there. Maybe my past successes will bolster someone to begin their journey to losing weight. Maybe my pathetic weight loss this past 6 weeks will make someone else feel better about themselves.

So...Here we go...the sad, ugly truth...

We started this challenge on December 30 and I weighed in at 192.2.

Last week I weighed: 187.6

Today I weighed: 188.2

So over the past 5 weeks I have lost 4 measley pounds! This week I gained 1/2 pound AGAIN!!

When I started this journey nearly 1 year ago (March 25) I weighed 225.6 pounds so overall I have lost 37 1/2 pounds which is not a small amount (it's the most weight I have ever lost without giving birth to a big baby boy!), but it's not anywhere close to my goal. My goal is to be down 50 pounds by March 25. I still have 12 1/2 pounds to go and right now, honestly, it feels like 100 pounds!

Last night on the Biggest Loser Jillian told one of the girls (I think it was Andrea) not to worry about the small number of pounds lost and she was noticably frustrated....I can totally relate. How is it that I can be busting my butt every night for nearly an hour and sometimes longer and GAIN weight! I understand that stress plays a part in this scenario, but how can I deal with the stresses that are in my life right now? I can't just ignore the fact that we have no income coming in and a whole stack of bills sitting there waiting to be paid. I have been working hard at not eating just to be eating, and I have not been drinking cokes like my head keeps begging for. I haven't really been eating too much junk except for the half bag of potato chips I succumbed to the other day!

I hope this doesn't sound pathetic, but I have to be honest here...I feel like giving up and just saying screw it "I will just be a fat, unhealthy mom", but honestly I have too much at stake. I have a 6 year old and a 19 year old that depend on me and deserve to have a healthy, fit mom. I need to be healthy so that I can live to see my future grandchildren. I need to be healthy and fit so that I can enjoy living my life of the future. I need to be healthy to help others meet their goals. I have worked too hard over the past year to just "throw in the towel", but right this minute that's how I feel!!

Tomorrow (or the next day or day after) I will be mentally back on track and want to do what it takes to lose this weight. But today I am not there...Just being honest.

I hope that this honest assessment of my here and now is helpful to someone and I hope that next week I can look back at this post and say "wow! It's a good thing I didn't give in to the temptation of "throwing in the towel" because I really pulled through and have kicked it up to lose enough weight to meet my goals.

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Tiny Talk Tuesday celebrates our children and their view of the world. They continually make us laugh and by recording their Tiny Talk we can focus on one of the many JOYS of parenting! If your kiddos made you laugh this week (don't they always), then feel free to share the humor! Check out more Tiny Talks with Mary.

We've had a pretty low key week this week as far as comments from That Other Kid but a couple have stood out in my mind. Money has been tight for us the past year, so just going to the store and buying "whatever we want" hasn't happened in a long time. Apparently, That Other Kid doesn't see it that way.

TOK: "Why won't you buy me that Star Wars Lego set? It only costs $100 and you have lots of hundreds of dollars. Daddy just got a bunch of them."(It was actually only 6 of them for a project he got to do over the weekend - PTL!)

Me: "Because we have bills to pay, rent to pay, gas to put in the truck, and groceries to buy."

TOK: "Why can't I have some of that money? I NEVER (with a very dramatic eye roll) get ANYTHING!! You ALWAYS get to buy whatever you want!"

Me: "Yes, I am buying what I want....a warm place to live, gas for the car, and groceries. You are going to get something too...You are going to get some food to eat, a nice warm place to sleep, and a mommy and daddy who love you."

TOK: "But I want legos!!"

Legos must be really cool if they rate higher than food, shelter, and gas for the car!!

The other day I was on the computer and TOK was bored so what did he do? He got out a math book and started working the problems in it! The book had a lot of double digit addition problems (he hasn't gotten that far along in math yet) but he was determined to solve the problems anyway!

He started adding the problems with his fingers, but they got too difficult to even do that, so he just started asking what the answers were!

TOK: "What is 12 + 15?"
Me: "27"

TOK: "What is 12 + 12? Oh, wait! I know what that is. It's 24, right?"
Me: "Yes, that's right. How did you know that?"
TOK: "I don't know...I guess I just have a good memory! Besides I'm kinda smart with math!"

Kinda humble, too!!

Enjoy those kiddos...

Monday's Project: Letter to Me

Once again I am turning my homework assignment from Christie in late…I sure hope I can break this pattern soon. I feel like I am always running a few days behind. Just too much happening in my little world to accomplish all that I want to. Oh well, at least I am getting it done. It was kind of hard for me to think ahead to what I want to accomplish this year, but it has been a great exercise for me.


Good morning you healthy, happy thing,

Here it is the end of January 2011!! Can you believe how far you have come since the beginning of 2010? I can, but then again I had more confidence in you than you did at the beginning of the year. So let’s run through some of what has been accomplished during the year, shall we? I think you’ll be surprised.

The beginning of 2010 was a very stress filled time for you and your family while your hubby looked for employment and you both just wanted to give up on everything, but through the power of God and friendship you hung tough and pulled through.

Now he is happy and bringing in some big bucks through his work as an architect and other endeavors. You sucked it up and just decided you didn’t lose all that weight in 2009 to gain it all back and worked harder than ever at getting down to “goal weight” (which you just accomplished a couple of weeks ago!!) Yay!! You finally got to join your youngest son at the bounce house this summer, because you finally were “skinny” enough to ride the rides (150 pounds seemed like it would never show up on those finicky scales of yours), but you persevered and it finally appeared one day when you least expected it! Oh how happy your little man was when you got to play with him there!!

Exercising and eating right became such an important part of your life during 2010 that it is hard to even imagine going more than a day of eating junk food and laying around… that’s not to say there aren’t days that you don’t eat the “right” foods, or exercise, but now it is a rarity. The rest of the family is totally on board with you, too, so now everyone eats good, healthy foods and exercises right along with you. What a joy to have a healthy, strong family! This was also the year that your extended family started heading in the right direction with their health…That was fun to watch!

You also started doing things you never thought you could accomplish again; bike riding for long distances, hiking with friends, walking in the 3 Day Walk for the Cure, and even beginning to get into the running scene that all the girls at the Sisterhood have been doing all year. With the rough cartilage in your knees you never thought that you could do all these physically challenging activities but you can reverse a lot of health issues when you start taking care of your health. Your doctors are pleased beyond belief at what you have done this year and authorized you to go off all your medications except your allergy medication! Wow….you/I never would have thought that would be possible!

You had other accomplishments this year as well. You started getting caught up on some of your long awaited craft projects. You cross stitched a Christmas stocking for your little man, made some scrapbooks for both boys, and worked on a quilt for your oldest son. You also learned that you need time for YOU!! That was a difficult one, since other than exercising you rarely took any time for you before this year. You also started dating your husband again, which was beneficial for your entire family. What fun…

Well that takes care of the highlights of 2010. You have accomplished so many things this past year and I just wanted to sit down and tell you how proud I am of you for not giving up at the beginning of the year like you wanted to! That would have been the easy way out, and you chose to go the hard way…and we both know that nothing comes easy that is worth doing!

Love ya, Me!!

Weekly Weigh In and Other Info...

Yesterday at the Sisterhood was weigh in day. I was not in a good place emotionally yesterday so I didn't bother to write my post. I didn't figure a bunch of people needed to hear me whine and complain about my moanings and groanings so I just ignored it! Besides I was having a hard time getting to the computer yesterday....so anyway I have a ton of excuses, but whatever!

So anyway, my numbers yesterday were 187.6, up from the previous week of 187.2. I know in my head that .4 of a pound is not a big deal, but to someone who hasn't lost any significant weight in 3 weeks it was a big deal. I'm in this for the long haul and I know (in my head) that sometimes I will stall out for a while, but I was VERY frustrated about it yesterday.

Our family has been going through a lot of stress the past 6 weeks and I think we were all having a bit of a melt-down yesterday. Me gaining a bit of weight instead of losing it was just another blow to my mental outlook.

So how did I get past my meltdown and start looking at this weight gain in a more positive perspective, you ask? or maybe you didn't? I'll tell you anyway! I ate whatever I wanted to yesterday. I didn't count calories, fruits/veggies, carbs, proteins, fats. I just ate till I didn't want anymore food. Then I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom regretting eating a bunch of fatty food that my digestive system didn't like and couldn't handle. Then I exercised for 40 minutes and went to bed. This morning I got up and decided to weigh myself to see what damage I had done yesterday. Guess what? I didn't gain weight and I didn't lose! I weighed exactly 187.6 pounds this morning!

Then I got onto the Sisterhood site and saw the post that Christy wrote. Basically she is telling us to "get back in the saddle" and "stop stressing over the little things". So, that's exactly what I did. I started tracking my calories today, which I have done periodically. I decided to get back on track. I also ate good, healthy food today. I went to ChuckECheese and ate salad and drank Iced Tea without sugar. I rarely drink tea, and when I do drink it I put sugar in it, but I wanted to stay away from soda (and sugar) because that is my downfall area. I wanted to do it "right" today.

So I am going to say a big "Thank You" to Christy for taking the time to write that post today, because I don't know where I would be tonight if I had not have read it this morning. I also know that without the support and "swift kick in the b*tt" from my fellow sisters when I need it I would not be down a total of 38 pounds today from 10 months ago.

I also need to say "Thanks" to ChristieO. A few weeks back we were to link up on a post that ChristieO wrote and share our "Project Me" post, then leave the link in the comment section and she said she would send us a motivational bracelet. I promptly did, but forgot all about the bracelet till last night when I went to the mailbox and found the bracelet from Christie. It was exactly what I needed -- "Strength * Focus * Discipline -- to keep me going today!

So...once again I have the Sisters to thank for pulling me through the rough patches. I am determined that this year will be my year to win this battle of obesity and unhealthy living that I have endured the past 10 years and with the help of my "sisters" I will be successful!! Thanks, ladies! Ya'll are the BESTEST friends a girl could have!