Sunday, April 4, 2010

Being Afraid....

Lissa brought up a very interesting topic the other day that has had me thinking ever since I "kind of" read it from my itty bitty blackberry screen at work. Since then I have gone back and read it a number of times. It really spoke to me. Go here to read it. She's talking about her Phobia of taking gym classes. As I read it I could totally relate. I was a member of an area gym for several years and only took a couple of classes. The classes I took were AWESOME and I benefited from them, BUT I always felt like I shouldn't be there. The instructor was so toned, the other women in there were young and in awesome condition and, in my opinion, didn't need to do another abdominal workout. They mostly had six-packs. Me, not so much. At the time I was taking this class I couldn't do 75% of the workout. I felt like a failure so I quit attending. But...I learned that all I needed to do was push myself and I could improve, from attending the class. The instructor never did anything to purposely make me feel inferior. It was, as they say, "all in my head!"

Fast forward 2 years to today, I have since stopped going to the gym. I workout completely on my own at home, and I LOVE IT!! I don't compare myself to anyone but I like watching Jillian and her "main girls" and the others on the dvd's and games that I do and seeing on the tv screen what I can be if I am persistent. I compare myself to MYSELF -- Myself from last spring, when I weighed 225 pounds. It's not so much a comparison but a "I can do this. All it is going to take is A LOT of hard work and persistence." I have come so far, but I still have a long way to go.

This brings me to my current phobia. And boy howdy, it is a doozy. This phobia is different kind of phobia. It is a phobia of not having the time/energy to exercise consistently and falling right back into the BAD habits of not working out and eating junky food and drinking coke. I have noticed it happening this past week. I only exercised on Tuesday, and Saturday of this week. BAD!! I was so tired all week that I just didn't take the time to do it. I don't feel like I slept well and was sluggish all week. That should have been a sure sign that I should exercise, but I didn't. I just got up in the afternoon and did piddly things around the house, checked emails, paid some bills, prepared dinner, and went to work. While at work I continued to feel sluggish and tired. We had a slow week, with not a lot of physical labor involved and that probably contributed to my sluggishness. I have become accustomed to "busting my butt" at work. I actually like it that way. It keeps me active, mentally and physically. I'm hoping that this week will be better while at work, but that doesn't help me while at home.

I need to get over my phobia -- stop being afraid of things I can change and just get up in the early afternoon and exercise. Stop worrying about what other things are not going to get done if I take 45 minutes for myself. I have come so far (losing 37 pounds) and still have a long way to go. I can't let myself slip back into bad habits and the way I see it the best way to accomplish that goal is to make sure I have healthy food and drink choices and I exercise every chance I get. There will be some days that I simply can't exercise. Wednesdays and Fridays are probably the days I should just plan on NOT exercising as they tend to be my roughest days, but there is not an excuse for not exercising the rest of the week.

So...what are you afraid of?? Whatever it is, KICK IT IN THE BUTT!! and prove to yourself and others what you are made of.

Thanks, Lissa for sharing your phobia and letting me see how you kicked it. It helps to know that others are dealing with fears in positive ways.


*Lissa* said...

First of all, hooray for writing your fears out!! That's a big step!

I think you need to sit down and evaluate what WILL work for you right now. Maybe with your current schedule you won't get in everything that you want to do. Focus on healthy choices, passing on those cokes, and finding a few days a week where you think you can incorporate more exercise.

You can do it!! xoxo

P.S. My elbows are STILL sore from that class on Wednesday. Gah.

Brooke said...

love this post Ann! :) thanks for giving me the boost I need to not be afraid of the sprint triathlon looming in my future