Confession -- The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

It's Confession time again over at the Sisterhood and I'm feeling the need to do some confessin'.

I've been in a slump the past few months and over the past month I have just helped to feed it by not doing much of anything other than sit here in front of my computer and the basics to keep the household running. I've definitely been in a state of "depression" although I hate using that word. There are people out in the world who suffer from true depression and the only way to pull out of it is from medication. I'm not suffering from that kind of depression....mine is more of a "I'm sick of the way my life is going" kind of depression, ya know?

I KNOW what it will take to pull out of it -- exercise and eating better and a some money to pay the bills and buy some little extras would help, too so I've had a "come to Jesus meetin'" this week and I'm starting to get control of myself again! I decided that tracking things on the Ipod Touch is too time consuming for me right now so I'm using the Livestrong/MyDailyPlate tools online. They have a HUGE database of foods already listed and I'm finding it pretty easy to use.

Yesterday was my first time to truly use it and I went over my calorie count, but mainly because I didn't get in any exercise AGAIN!! I had a cup (yes, literally 1 cup) of chocolate milk last night cuz I'm having a real craving for chocolate lately. I also decided I really wanted to start drinking OJ again...I know lots of people say you shouldn't drink your calories but I LOVE OJ and it's good for me (I buy the kind with calcium added) so I'm getting lots of added nutrients! Those 2 drinks took me over my calorie count so I don't feel bad about them...although I know if I would have just done some exercise all would have been good.

My Zooma 5k is this Saturday and I'm more than excited! Not so much for the actual race but because I will get to meet Christy and Lisa and I get to have a girls weekend!! NO responsibility for anyone BUT ME! I don't remember the last time I've had that kind of weekend...The 5k is the part of the weekend that I don't feel ready for but as I was telling my brother Sunday, I know I can run a few minutes at a time and walk a few minutes at a time so that is what I plan to do. I would like to do it in 45 minutes or so but since I haven't really prepared for it, I'll be happy to be crossing the finished line running (wogging).

I spent this weekend digging through file boxes of receipts so I can start working on our taxes for the year...yes, I know that it is April 12th, but I still have a few days to get them done! That Other Kid got to help out by running receipts and paper through the shredder!! Gosh I wish I could have that much fun just shredding paper!!

I get to go get my hair cut/colored this afternoon and I am so excited!! It's been months since I have had it done and it is LONG overdo! I always feel so pampered and pretty when I leave the hair salon!

My friend with breast cancer is having surgery soon (probably next week) to remove the remaining cancer cells and her afflicted breast. It was supposed to be this week but they have moved it to *hopefully* next week (pending insurance and dr schedules). Please keep her family in your prayers. (Me too cuz this is so hard on me emotionally!)

Well that's it for me...hope you are having a good week!

Not Much To Report -- Weigh In

This week's weigh in report almost didn't happen. I've been avoiding it all day. Not because it's all that bad, but because it's like a repeat of the past couple of months. But I do want to have a record of my weight so I can see the changes when/if they happen.

This week's weigh in: 196.6

Same ol' same ol'...and quiet honestly I'm sick of seeing this stupid number on the scale. I've been at 30 pounds lost for so long I'm beginning to think I will weigh this for the rest of my life. Although in all honesty I know if that is the case my life will be MUCH shorter than it should/could be. I really have no one to blame but myself. I've been suffering from a bout of depression the past month or two. I've taken a break from exercising and I know that's not helping matters. I've been eating snacks late at night instead of exercising. I know it all has to stop. I know I need to get my butt in gear and do what is necessary to kick the depression in the rear but sometimes it is easier said than done, ya know??

I watched The Biggest Loser last night and was so sad to see Courtney get eliminated BUT as I watched I realized that even the people on Biggest Loser go through slumps where they aren't losing much weight and quite honestly it made me feel better to some degree. The only problem is I don't know what to do to bust past this...seeing her "after Ranch" shots shows that she left the ranch and started losing again so I know it can be done but I want to know HOW?? I know for a fact I need to start moving my body again...it will help with my depression and it will help me "feel" better. I will probably get over my underlying stomach illness and back pains, too if I am exercising. I also know that I can't sit at my computer and "veg" out for hours instead of being productive but lately all I "feel" like doing is forgetting all the crap going on in my world and read what's going on elsewhere. I've been going to bed too late and not sleeping well so that is making it harder to lose weight as well.

Gotta turn this around and get moving in the right direction....Now to put this into practice. I've come too far to stop now!! I could use some extra motivation, I think!!

***On a side note: My best friend with breast cancer has undergone chemo treatments and will have surgery next week probably. She has much to consider over the next 5 days and she (I) would appreciate your prayers as she makes the "right" decisions for her and her family. I will probably be helping her out a bit more over the next few weeks so that will make me feel like I'm doing something productive to help her. Her mom is still here, too, helping out so that is a huge blessing but she has an 8 year old son and a 19 year old son who will need some extra TLC (and prayers).
I will be there or them as much as I can...

ABC's of Me...

It's April Fools Day and my mood all day has been grumpy and irritable, so when I found yet another of my friends doing the ABC's of Me meme I decided that I needed to do it today. Hopefully doing this will lighten my mood!

Age: 45

Bed size: King (and it is heavenly to have space in my bed for me!!)

Chore you dislike: Um, how 'bout all of them? But I think laundry and dusting are my least favorite!

Dogs: Nope (but I'm committed to getting one as soon as we move out of the apartment-- wonder how long we can delay moving into a house?)

Essential start to your day: internet, contact lenses and a hug from That Other Kid

Favorite color: Gray (I know weird) and Red

Gold or silver: white gold, thankyouverymuch

Height: 5'3" (technically 5'2 3/4" but that 1/4 inch makes me feel taller!)

Instruments you play(ed): does the radio, tv, or Ipod count?, although one of my childhood friends did teach me to play chopsticks on the piano when I was 10ish but that doesn't really count, I don't think!

Job title: mom, homeschool teacher, book keeper, and help mate to hubby

Kids: yep, 2 boys - That Kid, 20 (guess I should change that name, huh?) and That Other Kid, 7 (and yes, they are 13 1/2 years apart in age and yes, they both came from the same daddy!)

Live: the suburbs of Dallas, TX

Mom’s name: Virginia

Nicknames: none unless you count mom!

Overnight hospital stays: lots of them; including 2 times for childbirth, broken legs (in traction for my 3rd birthday), tonsilectomy, flu that was treated as if early labor while preggo with That Kid, and numerous trips with That Other Kid while he was an infant/toddler

Pet peeve: doctors that don't treat you with respect, and business people that don't pay their contract people promptly not that I'm bitter or anything

Quote from a movie: "Houston, we have a problem!" -- anyone know what movie?

Righty or Lefty: Righty, although when I was in the 6th grade I broke my right arm and had to do EVERYTHING with my left so if necessary I can do some basic things with my left hand.

Siblings: 3 younger brothers

Time you wake up: depends on when I get woke up! But generally around 9 am

Underwear: yes

Vegetables you don’t like: pretty much all of them...I like carrots, green beans, and salad but that's basically it! corn and tomatoes are not really veggies but if you count them we can add those to the short list!

What makes you run late: under-estimating how long it takes to get organized before leaving the house...finding shoes, keys, wallet, phone, etc.

X-Rays you’ve had: lots (see hospital stays)

Yummy food you make: I've been told I bake well, apple pie and banana bread are the favorites. Hubby says I make "the best french toast" (even better than restuarants) with "fat" bacon.

Zoo animal favorite: penguins, and white bengal tigers


Ok...so play along and let me know you did so I can come over and learn more about you!!