Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Debby Downer Confessions

Today is Tuesday and over at the world famous Sisterhood of Shrinking Jeans we post all about our confessions of the good, bad and ugly that we might have encountered over the past week. This exercise in confessions is designed to help us feel like we aren't alone, we can turn things around and get back on track again!

I desperately need to get back on track again. As evidenced by the giant Heath bar I just finished consuming right after eating a big cheeseburger, french fries and drinking a coke!

So anyway....here are my excuses...just so you know I completely understand that they are nothing more than excuses!!

I just can't seem to stay away from the junk this summer!!

I have been on an emotional roller coaster this summer. One minute I am happy and excited to be healthy and alive, and the next minute all I feel like doing is plunging my face in a bowl of chocolate or ice cream or candy or....you get the idea!

My oldest son will be heading off to Marine boot camp any time now (with a DEFINITE date of September 19 UNLESS something changes that date to an earlier one!) How's that for decisiveness?? Yeah, that's what I thought, too! One minute I am sooooooo ready for him to be GONE and out of my house and someone else's responisiblity to "fix" and the next minute I don't want him to leave at all! He's been drinking and smoking cigars and overall a VERY bad influence on his little brother and it's basically pissing me off!

It's time for me to start back to schooling That Other Kid and I don't feel prepared mentally or physically. There are so many things I want to work on this year with him but with our schedule I'm already feeling that the fun things aren't gonna happen.

I am supposed to raise $2300 for the Komen 3 Day Walk and so far I only have $75 in my account! I'm getting scared that I won't be able to raise it all and we will have to fill in the gap with our own money! That is freaking me out! The women on my team have told me repeatedly that the money will be there in time for the walk but I still keep having a little breakdown weekly when the money doesn't "just magically appear"!

I have been doing well with my weekend Komen training walks and this past week I even managed to walk afew extra miles during the week! This weekend was a major milestone. Saturday I walked 4.21 miles in the POURING DOWN RAIN!! YAY!! It finally rained here in North Texas!! It was very exciting to know that the rain didn't keep me from doing what I needed to do. Then on Sunday I walked almost 12 miles! It was HOT AND HUMID! By the time we were done with our walk we were all drenched in sweat! After walking I went home, fixed breakfast, took a shower and slept for almost 2 hours! Then I went out to eat and ATE BACK ALL THE CALORIES I BURNED!! If this was the exception to the rule it would be ok but it seems like since I have started doing these training walks I am CONSTANTLY HUNGRY! As in never can get enough to eat hungry!

This has been very frustrating and is making me upset with myself! I know that my hormones are all out of whack (cuz I'm an emoitonal basket-case most days) but in order for me to go to the doctor and get medicated I would need an extensive blood workup which is costly! We are finally getting to the point where we are paying our bills and having a bit of money leftover and I really don't want to blow all that "left over" money on stupid blood work, ya know?! So I'm wondering if anyone knows of any way to get my hormones regulated without spending a boatload of money at the doctor! (We don't have health insurance yet - working on it but it hasn't happened yet!)

Ok...so...enough Debby Downer from me! Hope your confessions aren't as doom and gloom! But if they are please don't keep them to yourself! I don't want to feel alone!

If you are able to help support me in my efforts to raise money for the Komen 3 Day you can donate here.


*Lissa* said...

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Fundraising is HARD. SO HARD. I know. :( Just keep at it hard and you will get there. xoxo

MizFit said...

I love what you said about not wanting to feel alone so not keeping them inside.
it can feel to me some days when I do spill mine out on the blog that fewer people comment.

BUT Im a big believe in this being the reason why we should blog.

xo xo

Brooke said...


i'm sorry. life is so tough sometimes isn't it? :( God's got everything under control - your sons, your lack of health insurance, and your fund raising. He knows your heart and He will honor it.

Mindy said...

Confession is good for the soul! Keep pushing and the funds will come. Have you thought about hosting any sort of event? My bff and I have done several fundraisers for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I can give you some ideas if you want!