Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Raising Children ....

is enough to make a sane person go crazy...don't you agree? I thought 18 years ago as a young mother that my days of discipline and constant attempts to correct misdirected behavior would be over now for my then little newborn baby. How naive' I was!

Over the past almost 3 weeks I have had to seemingly, constantly correct behavior of not only That Other Kid, which is to be expected, since he is only 4, but I have had to do the same with my NOW 18 year old! How frustrating and exhausting this is! I don't know what I expected way back then in my new motherhood idealism, but I can assure you I never expected to have to go through the many challenges that have presented themselves to me in the past 3 weeks.

God gives us children and calls them blessings. Tells us to direct, correct, and challenge. Then says let them go....as That Kid approached 18 I started noticing more and more difficulties and I started feeling more and more like a failure. I know that I have done the best I knew to do, giving him space when he needed space, giving him guidance when he asked (which he actually did do sometimes, thank God!) and giving him love and discipline daily. I think this is the hardest stage I have come across with him...from the time he turned 16 to now...and I know it's not over yet.

A few months ago I sat down with him and told him life would change
some for him once he turned 18, like he would not really have a curfew, etc. but there would be many things that would not change. He would still be expected to participate in family events, fulfill his responsibilities with school work and maintain a "C" average in ALL of his classes, including college work. Since he is driving cars with our names on the titles, the cars would be available but he needed to respect the fact that they belong to US, the parents.

He broke that part of the bargain this weekend and I am stumped! How do I get it through his head that just because the law says he is an adult, he is living at home and is for all intensive purposes still a child??? We pay all his bills, buy his food, pay for his education, etc. How do I differentiate between the child and the adult that is now living with me??

I think the only way I can successfully make it through this stage of life is "on my knees" so that is where I will be spending some of my next few days. Please pray with me for answers.

2 comments:

Christina said...

Wow... it sounds like you are really going through some challenges trying to find your way right now. But you must know that you are not alone -- this transition is really difficult for many families. Wishing you the best of luck.

Christina
adultchildrenlivingathome.com

Mary@notbefore7 said...

Oh girl...so sorry to hear it. I am suddenly grateful to "only" have bedtime battles...sigh.

You have done what God called you to do...keep pressing on! It's a tough time of transition!