I Am Not A Quitter

Today's post at the Sisterhood was so timely for me. These ladies must be reading my mind or mail or something, cuz the past 2 days they have really spoken to me. I did not meet my weight loss goals for the challenge that just finished up and that got me kind of down. I have been stagnant in my weight loss for several months and with all the stuff going on around me I have felt a bit (ok really) stressed. I feel like under the circumstances I have done pretty well...normally I gain weight like crazy when I am stressed out and so I guess maintaining/stagnating is better than gaining but still. I'm not happy with basically no weight loss in nearly 3 months. It's very frustrating (and quiet honestly) it's just down right discouraging.

Then yesterday after I posted my weigh in post with a slight gain for the final weigh in for the Power of One challenge and left my comment for the gang at the Sisterhood, I got an emergency call from my best friend's mom. It was pretty cryptic and all I knew was that I was needed to take my friend to the doctor asap. She has been sick with the flu as well as going through the chemo for her breast cancer so I didn't know what was happening. I kicked it into high gear and got over to the house in less than 15 minutes (it takes 12 minutes to get there!) G was so weak she couldn't drive and her mom is not accustomed to the area in their mini-van so they called me. I drove her to the dr who wisked her right in for x-rays. They were concerned about broncitus or something more serious (but found that the lungs were clear! Yay!). While she was gone for the x-rays I kind of lost it and sat there and cried like a baby! The stress of seeing your best friend lose all her hair, energy, and motivation to do anything other than lay around on the couch kind of gets a girl down, ya know??!

After I pulled myself together and we drove back to her house, settled her onto the couch I helped her son with his homework and went home. Wednesday is our normal fast food night so I picked up some sandwiches and went home. (and I didn't buy myself a coke even though everything in me told me "I deserved it" after the day I had had!) After dinner I found out that That Kid has passed his personal training aspect of his marine corp test and could leave for boot camp at "anytime". This just upset me even more...I thought I would have till at least the summer before he left. Then I found out some stuff that just about sent me into a full fledged panic attack. At this point I had to leave!! I left for about 15 minutes to try to regroup. I managed to pass numerous fast food places without stopping for coke or ice cream!!

Once I got back home, got That Other Kid in bed and had a chance to exercise I just wanted to say, "what's the use?" I was tired, frustrated and had had a rotten day. I sat down at the computer to log my exercise and I had an email from Christy. She had replied to my earlier comment and what she said just sent me into tears in a good way! Basically she told me I was "worth it"! That comment made me realize that even though my efforts haven't produced much in the weight loss area I am still worth the effort of working through this journey and seeing it through. It's amazing what a little comment can do for a girl, ya know?!!

Then this morning I got up and I saw Christie's post and I immediately read it and said, "I am not a quitter!" I hadn't even read the post and I certainly didn't know what it was all about but I also knew that I have put too much into this journey to quit. I have worked nearly 2 years to get to where I am and I'm not willing to give up on myself. I have a 7 year old to care for. I have a husband and an older son that both need me, too! I am worth it, so I am not a quitter!! I filled in Christie's blank in the comments and pretty soon I had an email from Lisa that once again made me cry! That just made me feel even more special, worth it and loved.

So..the point of this long, drawn out post is that "I'm not a quitter"...no matter how freakin' long it takes me I am gonna lose this weight and be a healthy, fit woman and comments do make a difference to people! I can't tell you how just these two comments and this one post made a difference in my life. Regardless of how crappy a day I have had the friendships that I have made through the internet always seem to cheer me up and help me realize that I am worth it!! One day I will look back at this post and remember just how close I was to "calling it quits" and just settling for being fat, unhealthy and unhappy!

Thanks ladies....you have no idea what you mean to me!!

Power of One Final Weigh In

This was the final week of the Power of One challenge. For me it was a very disappointing challenge as far as weigh ins are concerned. I fluctuated up and down from my starting weight of 196.0 and today I end this challenge .8 up from when we started. HOWEVER, I refuse to let this get me down.

This journey is all about choices. The choices I make today will help me in the things I do tomorrow and beyond! Last night during the Biggest Loser something Bob said to Jessie really hit me hard. Basically he said today is the day we need to concern ourselves with. Not tomorrow. Not yesterday. We can only control what we do RIGHT NOW! Last night on The Biggest Loser everyone was concerned about falling below that Red Line - the Elimination Line!! In the end "the parents" made choices to gain weight so they could "save the children". I respected that as a mom but from the perspective of a person needing to lose 50ish pounds still (after nearly 2 years on this journey!) I couldn't understand how they could jeopardize their own health in that way. But they made those choices and they have to live with them.

This week and during this challenge I made choices that I'm hoping will see me through to the final destination of a good healthy weight. I also made some BAD choices that over the past few days I have started changing. I have been stagnant in this journey for several months and it is time to change that. I have really ramped up the exercise and I've been doing some different things. I started doing the 9 wk EaSports Active2 challenge and I'm in the middle of week 2 of that. I also have taken a couple of classes at the gym and Monday I went on my first outside run in 2 months to help get me ready to run in the Austin 5K ZoomaRace on April 16th. I am trying to win the race entry fee but even if I don't win it is a close enough race that I can go and the fee isn't terribly cost prohibitive. Besides this will be the perfect opportunity to hang out with my Sisterhood friends!!

So...how did I do on my goals during this challenge?

Short term goal (for this 8 week challenge): 184 BOMBED ... In fact I weighed in at 196.8 this morning BUMMER!! But I'm not letting this stop me!

Some of my healthy living goals:

EXERCISE DAILY -- Success...I exercised in some way every day BUT ONE in the past 2 months!

DRINK MY WATER -- Success!! I have managed to drink enough water...even while traveling this month!!

My next goal (and this one will make my hubby happy) is to CLEAN/ORGANIZE something in my apartment everyday for 30 minutes. -- Bombed!! Did good for about 1 week and then went back to my old lazy ways. Definitely need to work on this! Need to get the house cleaned up and organized!!

My final goal for this challenge and this is strictly for ME (cuz this challenge is for ME, right?) -- READ MY BIBLE and something for FUN (either fiction or non-fiction) EVERY DAY!! -- Half and half; I have been doing pretty good on this one. I did great till I left on my trip to Kansas and since then I have struggled to get back into it!

I have not let the stress of life (son signing up to go off to Marine boot camp, best friend having breast cancer, and mom's knee replacement surgery among everyday life of being a wife of an architect in a struggling market!) get me down and keep me from doing what is necessary to get this weight off. Although I haven't really lost weight over the past 2 months I haven't let the stress of life dictate to me how to eat! I have taken control of my OWN actions and I'm doing something to change them...now to figure out how to bust past this plateau. I have increased and changed up the exercise. I have cut the cokes out AGAIN, and I have been tracking food. I'm stumped but I'm still not giving up!

So now it's time to focus on the next challenge which will start next Wednesday. I'm hopeful that the next one will be my break-thru challenge!

Confessions Again...

Bullet points make great confession points, don't they??

** After last weeks decision to "change up the exercise routine" I have been doing different exercise routines every day. Yesterday was such a nice day out and I decided if I want to participate in another 5K I need to start running again. I almost talked myself out of it and went to hang out with friends instead of getting right to it, but I managed to pysch myself up enough to do it afterwards. I'm glad I did now....although my legs are not so happy about it today. My muscles are so tight I can barely walk around the house!! I guess I didn't stretch enough, huh??

** I ran/walked 1.9 miles in 30 minutes yesterday and ran well over half of that. This was the first time I had run at all since the week before Christmas. It felt great to have the wind in my hair and pounding the pavement again! This will be the first of many runs in the next 2 months cuz I'm planning to run in the ZoomaRace in Austin on April 16th. I'm hoping to win the entry fee from Lisa and the Sisterhood but if I don't the race fee isn't so high that I probably can swing it and besides I would get to hang out with the Famous Lisa and Christy and finally meet them!!

** I have only missed 1 day of exercise over the past 53 days! I'm pretty happy about this accomplishment since I can honestly say that this is a new record for me!

** I told ya'll that I was gonna start tracking my food this week...um...I didn't do it until yesterday (and that was just in my head after I ate it). Today I have done a good job of tracking my food. It's amazing how much calories some of the most basic food have in them!! Since I tracked my food (in my head) yesterday I didn't eat ICE CREAM even though I really wanted to!! (Ice cream is one of my weaknesses!!)

** I started down a slippery slope of drinking Cokes again this past week when I am "out and about"!! Not a good thing for a girl trying to lose 40 - 50 more pounds! Don't worry I broke that little habit today!! Of course, it may hurt me on the scales tomorrow but if it does at least I will know why!!

** I did a plank hold for 2 minutes and 34 seconds this weekend for Christie's Fail Project! What am I gonna do this week??? I don't know yet, but I'm guessing it won't be till later this week cuz I can barely move my legs and my arms still hurt from Sunday!!

Monthly Project - Project Fail - Part 2

I'm a little bummed that I didn't get to do the Zumba class at the gym like I had wanted to for this weeks edition of the Project Fail....I was going to add running (wogging) before and after the class, but alas, best made plans are made to be disrupted when you are a household with only one car and you have a 7 year old at home. Hubby had a meeting and I couldn't leave That Other Kid at home and he couldn't run the route I had planned out to get to the gym, so I had to look for an alternative way to get my exercise done for the day.

We have had NetFlix for a while now and I noticed a few weeks ago they had a workout DVD available for Instant view that was designed to work the tummy and was a Dance Move workout, so I pulled it up and decided to workout with this since this was probably the closest thing I was gonna get to Zumba class. I RARELY workout at home while That Other Kid is up and about, but Saturday night is "at home date night" with the hubs so in order to workout before 1 a.m. I needed to workout during the day!

I started the DVD and immediately liked the feel of this. It seemed similar to the moves that I did at Zumba class but it focused a lot more on the tummy area. I have struggled with my core and I feel that it is the one area that really needs to be pushed more to find the results I am looking for. I did the dance moves (for the most part) and when it was over the DVD moved on to some "tummy toning". Immediately, I noticed that this was gonna push me beyond what I am accustomed to! This is what I was looking for. It was only about 5 minutes of various crunches, sit ups and oblique moves but I'm telling you that was A LONG five minutes for me! My upper abs are still SCREAMING some 24 hrs later!! Hum....guess I need to work those abs a bit more, huh?? I'm thinking this will become a regular part of my workouts for a while...can't hurt, right? or maybe it can!! lol

Heather is doing a Weekend Warrior challenge to push people outside of their comfort zones (and to help prepare her for her upcoming 1/2 marathon) and this weekend she asked us to do the Plank Hold for as long as you can. )She also wanted to see how fast we could do a 5K but since I didn't get to run as I had planned to or get to the gym this weekend I'm passing on that part of the challenge.) As I just alluded to my core/abs are pretty weak but since this month's Monthly Project is Project Fail I wanted to do the plank hold and push myself further than I ever have before. So here is my new PR for the Plank Hold.....
2 minutes 34 seconds!!

I know that for some people this would be "no biggie" but for me I am thrilled that I could support my 197 pounds for more than 2 1/2 minutes!! I think the most I had ever done before is about 1 1/2 minutes so I really went above and beyond my previous PR!!

Thanks ChristieO and all of the wonderful people over at the Sisterhood for continuing to push me beyond what is comfortable for me!

Power Of One Weigh In

Time for the week's weigh in with the Sisterhood.
I didn't handle this week very well. I let my frustration over my lack of progress get me down and I just didn't really pay much attention to my eating. I did change up my exercise routine, so I think I did that part right. I have been sticking to drinking my water. I have gotten to the point where I feel dehydrated without at least 100 ounces of water every day.

Anyway, here are the stats for today.

Starting weight on 3/25/09: 226.8

Starting challenge weight: 196.0
Last week's weight: 197.0

This week's weight: 196.8

So...I did lose .2 pounds this week which is at least moderately encouraging. Considering I didn't monitor my food intake this week and I over-indulged in chocolates and mexican food for Valentines Day I'm pleased that I lost ANY weight. I did change up my exercise routine and even went to Zumba class on Saturday and then again today. The jury is still out on whether or not I "like" it, but it is different and that is what I am looking for right now....anything different to change my body and make it start losing weight again.

So...for this coming week I am going to start logging the food and making sure it is within the calorie allotment for my goals. I will continue drinking my water and I'm also going to continue changing up the exercise routines. I started working out with my EaSports Active2 game and I'm doing the 9 week program where I do the workouts 4 times a week on the hard setting. If I do this in addition to the classes at the gym and do some of the other games I have maybe my body will start changing again. I'm also going to run "some". I have found that I don't want to run all the time but occasionally it is freeing when the weather cooperates. My seasonal allergies are starting to be a challenge so I will just have to do this when I can.

I'm hoping that by next week I will start seeing some results from the changes I started making this week so that I can end this challenge weighing in at least a little bit less than when I started it. Although it isn't feasible for me to meet my goal weight for this challenge I do want to weigh LESS than when I started it 7 weeks ago!!

Hope ya'll have had a good week!

A Couple of Conclusions

I came to a few conclusions Monday that I would like to document.

*Taking more than a couple of days off school is A BAD IDEA!! Getting back into the swing of things is frustrating for both That Other Kid and myself. He doesn't want to do school and I have lost my momentum and have to figure out what needs to be done. Maybe if I did "real" lesson plans this problem would be solved, but doing lesson plans right now for this stage in school seems kind of goofy to me. I mean we are going to do phonics, reading, math, handwriting, and now spelling every day. We are going to do geography at least a couple of days a week. Why do the lesson plan for that?

*I decided that we need to finish up with 1st grade math as soon as possible so I can start challenging That Other Kid in math. He keeps telling me "this is so easy ANYONE could do this!" I have been having him work through 2 lessons a day, but I decided today that we will start doing around 4 lessons a day till it gets more challenging for him. At this pace we should be done with 1st grade math by mid April and ready to do 2nd grade math. (Remember I do school 'mostly' year round and he didn't officially start 1st grade till November.) Now it's time to start researching math curriculum's so I can find something that will challenge him!! We are using Abeka now...it needs to be a visual, challenging curriculum. Suggestions???

*Asking for "chocolate" for Valentine's Day through a text message is kind of goofy but had good results! A box of chocolate and chocolate covered strawberry's taste really great...but create a serious sugar rush! I rarely pull the "I need chocolate" card, but I did tonight. I hope it doesn't backfire on me this week on weigh in day!

* I decided I needed to do something different for my workouts to try to push past this plateau I've been on so I started working out with the EaSports Active2 Wii game Sunday night. I started up the 9 week program, which I will do for 4 days a week for the 9 weeks. I'm planning to do this in addition to doing some workouts at the gym. I scoped out some classes and I have them "scheduled" into my week. This should help me make sure I actually get there! I decided that I needed to push myself harder and I'm hoping that doing all these things will push me past my plateau.

*Last conclusion for the night...I have worked out 44 out of the past 45 days!! I love being able to say that!! Feels soooo good!

February's Monday Project - Project Fail

I've been thinking about this project all week since Christie "assigned" it. The point of the project was to find something to do that you would do "beyond what you thought possible". Do one more rep, do something faster than ever before, do something that you NEVER thought you could or would do. In other words go beyond "failure" and succeed.I didn't know what I should try or even if I would try anything...you know, play dumb. Ignore the project...kind of like back in high school or college when I didn't want to do something "hard".

But....I'm really trying to "step out of my comfort zone", so I decided to find something to do so I could do this project. I was out of town Monday and Tuesday helping my mom and dad, so I sat down Wednesday and thought about what I could do(since I was snowed in and tired so I couldn't really do anything else). That gave me a lot of time. I have been weighing in within the same couple of pounds now for the past 2 months so I need to workout HARDER and change some things up in the eating, so I started looking for something different. I got online and looked up the classes that are offered at the gym since I figured those would be more challenging that the dvd's and Wii games that I have here. Not to mention the fact that if I have the membership to the gym I probably should use it, ya know??!!

So I looked and found out they offer a Zumba class on Saturday's at 12 noon. Most of the classes offered are early evening or well before noon...and it has been well documented that I don't do much of anything before noon! Zumba has been one of those classes that "everyone" has been talking about, but has always intimidated me. I am not a "dancer" nor am I very coordinated. So...there you have it. WAY outside of my comfort zone. I sent out a facebook status update Thursday basically asking my friends why I should give Zumba a try. I needed some concrete reasons besides the obvious of "going outside of my comfort zone". I got MANY!! Thank you my friends!

Today about 11:15 I got dressed in my workout clothes, drove down to the gym and did a 5 minute treadmill warmup and walked over to the studio where Zumba was going to be held in just a few minutes. I found a lady standing by herself and asked if she had ever done the class. She said yes it was fun and a great workout. I started looking around at all the young, "in shape" women standing there, feeling WAY OUT OF MY ELEMENT, but I had already told the child center this is where I was gonna be so I needed to go through with it! (Not to mention I had told all my facebook friends I was doing the class -- basically so I couldn't back out, ya know?!) I went into class and "tried" to follow along! I discovered just how uncoordinated I am but did the best I could considering I couldn't really see the instructor real well since this man was pretty much blocking my view...but whatever. Next time I will stand to the side so I can see her better. Ooops, did I just I was gonna do this again?? Um...yes, I guess I did.

So anyway, I enjoyed myself but didn't really think it was that big of a workout. My heartrate was slightly elevated but not in the 140's or 150's like running or doing an elliptical workout, more like doing the Wii Fit Plus, Step Aerobics...I felt like it was kind of a letdown. Maybe because I was just doing the best I could and not really doing all the moves right...I'm not sure. Anywhoo, so I go about my day thinking about how Zumba was a challenge mentally but not really physically and trying to compose my post in my head (you guys do that, don't you??). I came home and hubby told me he had planned a surprise date for us and That Kid was coming over to watch That Other Kid, so be ready to go at 5p.m.!! Yay!! A real bonafide date!! So I showered and started blow drying my hair and realized my ARMS HURT! Ouch...I continued getting ready and when it came time to put my shoes on I could barely move my legs enough to put them on and tie them! OUCH again!!

We went to dinner and then to a movie...and right before the movie started I went to the bathroom. As I was walking down the stairs I realized my hamstrings were soooo sore I could barely walk! Ouch again!! I sat through the movie (yes, I made it all the way through the movie without needing the bathroom! Yay me!!) and when I stood up to walk down the stairs again to leave I could barely WALK! All the muscles in my legs hurt! My abs hurt, my arms hurt, my back muscles hurt!! I am a MESS!! I could really use a good soak in the hot tub...but I guess I will have to settle for a hot shower till tomorrow!

So...bottom line is although I didn't think Zumba was much of a workout and would bring my body (just my mind) to failure it was much more than I ever thought possible and it definitely worked my muscles!! Soooo...I believe I will have to attend more Zumba classes and try to work on my coordination and get my muscles to be sore like this more often!!

Thanks, Christie O for pushing me once again to do something I didn't want to do!! I'm hoping that it will pay off with some weight loss this week but even if it doesn't I know that my body will be better for it!!

Power Of One - Week 6

Well if any of you saw my Facebook status this morning you can probably guess what my weight looked like this morning when I got on the scales. I wasn't happy and I took the results and shoved 4 big donuts into my mouth to "try" to make myself "feel" better! Did it work??? Of course not! All it made me feel is lazy, lethargic, and want to crawl back into bed (which is probably where I should have stayed given the weather conditions of the day!) All this to say it could have been worse...but it wasn't what I had hoped for.

So...here we go with my stats:

Starting weight: 3/25/09 -- 226.8

Starting challenge weight: 196.0
Last week's weight: 196.0
This week's weight: 197.0

I'm "only" up 1 pound so I realize it could be a WHOLE LOT worse given the week I just had but it isn't what I had hoped for and I am frustrated with the "supposed" effort I am putting into this journey and not seeing "scale" results.

I spent the week in Kansas helping my parents and ate out most of my meals so I guess I should have known that losing weight this week was going to be difficult but I did continue working out while I was out of town, and felt that despite my lack of "routine-ness" I had done pretty well. I didn't really go crazy with the food and I didn't go to my favorite Mexican food restuarant where I usually inhale thousands and thousands of calories!! I tried to make healthy choices but I didn't have my "normal" options.

Oh well...I'm back home now and snowed in AGAIN (isn't Texas supposed to be known for its mild winters??) so I'm hoping that I will be able to get back into my routine quickly. I'm fixing a healthy dinner tonight and I'm going to make sure I change up my exercise routine so that I can get past this plateau that I have been in for the past couple of months! It is driving me crazy!! I have numerous Wii games and dvd's and I'm going to dust them off and change it up for the next few weeks and see what kind of results I can get from this. Maybe my body is just too used to doing the same things and changing it up will help me.

On the plus side, while I was in Kansas this week my dad and friend both told me it looked like I was getting "skinnier" since Christmas time. Now if the scales would just reflect this maybe I will start believing it, too!!

Power of One - Week 5 STAGNANT

My title says it all I believe...I have become stagnant. I haven't gained and I haven't lost. I'm not at all pleased with this scenario. I have lost around 30 pounds which is all good and fine but according to the personal trainer at the gym and the way my clothes fit and I look in the mirror I still have at least 40 pounds to lose. I'm not doing it right now and I am VERY frustrated with the lack of movement on the scales. If I didn't know better I would say that the scale is broken but everyone else gets different weights when they get on the scale.

So here we go again...

Starting weight on 3/25/09: 226.8

Starting weight this challenge: 196.0
Last week's weight: 196.0

This week's weight: 196.0

You know if I were in the "maintenance stage" of my journey I would be THRILLED but I am nowhere close to that stage so I'm begging my Sisters for help!!

How do I move past this stupid plateau and start losing weight again?? Eat more, eat less, exercise more, exercise harder, exercise less!! HELP!!

As far as goals are concerned I am doing pretty good with these and I am quiet pleased that I have been able to be consistent with them.

Goals for the challenge:

Short term goal (for this 8 week challenge): 184 (which is what I weighed the day I found out I was pregnant with That Other Kid back in the spring of 2003 and I haven't seen it since) -- I am obviously struggling to accomplish this goal

Some of my healthy living goals:

EXERCISE DAILY -- it doesn't really matter what; running, walking, playing with the numerous Wii games I have...just something to get my body moving. I am happier and less stressed if I do some kind of exercise! I really want to do something for 30 minutes a day...but I know some days I'm not really going to commit to that length of time so I'm just going to say any time as long as I'm EXERCISING - meaning heart rate is elevated! : SCORE on this one!! I have exercised for 32 days in a row!! Only 2 of those days has it not been "real" exercise, but those 2 days I was doing HEAVY cleaning - moving furniture, etc.

DRINK MY WATER -- cuz I've found if I'm drinking water, I'm not drinking soda!! Studies show if you drink half your body weight in water daily you will lose weight, so right now that means I need to drink a minimum of 98 ounces of water! Score on this one too. and just for the record there has been a CASE of coke in my house since Friday night and I haven't had one single coke!! Thankyouverymuch

My next goal (and this one will make my hubby happy) is to CLEAN/ORGANIZE something in my apartment everyday for 30 minutes. We live in a 3 bdrm apartment and it is cluttered and disorganized. It is also full of STUFF that needs to find either a new home or be thrown away. Since I homeschool That Other Kid and hubby works at home we are usually all home, which means the place is easily cluttered!! This needs to be changed...We are all tired of clutter!! Well I haven't done it every day (and if truth be told I haven't done it most days, but the house is looking better and I'm getting better at getting things cleaned and organized.

My final goal for this challenge and this is strictly for ME (cuz this challenge is for ME, right?) -- READ MY BIBLE and something for FUN (either fiction or non-fiction) EVERY DAY!! I am doing really well with this one. I have skipped a couple of days of the Bible reading but then I went back and read a chapter for those days, and I have read something fun everyday!

I know stress plays a factor in weight loss but I have trying to channel my stress into more productive things like exercising and cleaning and I have been tracking my food into my LoseIt program. There have only been 2 days this week that were a problem in the numbers on paper!!

I will be traveling this week, so it will definitely be a different week for me(weather permitting which right now it isn't! UGH) to go to Kansas to help out my mom...she's prepping for knee replacement surgery RIGHT NOW, so please PRAY!! I'm sitting stranded in Texas because of the stupid snow/ice storm that has hit the country and can't get up there and it is really HARD!!

So tell me friends, what can I do different to pull off a HUGE loss next week? I REALLY need to have a loss this week! I'm frustrated and tired of seeing the same stupid number on the scale!!! So share your wealth of knowledge PLEASE!!