After tomorrow this scene will be one that won't be seen at my house very much so this past week has been full of emotional upheavals for me. You see tomorrow morning about 9:30 a.m. I will leave my house with That Kid and That Other Kid and I will come home ONLY with That Other Kid....I'm taking him down to college where he will start classes on Monday as a COLLEGE FRESHMAN!! I ask, how can that be?? He will be living in the Dorms and has 2 roommates. That should be interesting???!! I'm glad I'm not his roommates. He is a SLOB and he likes to leave his junk EVERYWHERE!! But God knows I love him and so does he. I have been an emotional basketcase all day long. My dh continues asking me what he can do to help, and I just start crying.
He's on his way to Sonic right now, to buy me a hot fudge sundae with caramel. I know that it isn't really going to help me feel better once it's gone, but I am feeling a need to have some comfort food, so that's on the list of comfort food.
We have spent the past couple of days packing up all his stuff. Determining what is going to the garage, and what is going to school with him. Of course, there are a couple of bags of just TRASH, too. We went shopping on Sunday to get the things he will need for school. Toiletries, school supplies, a cool chair, a water cooler so he can drink good clean water, laundry supplies, cleaning supplies, you get the picture...everything you need to live on your own! I even bought toilet paper and paper towels for him! You know that stuff is expensive when you buy a TON of it, right??
We also decided to bite the bullet and get a new, used car that will not break down every month so now That Kid has a new car for college. He is responsible for the car payments, which were amazingly inexpensive by today's standards. He is thrilled to have a car that he doesn't have to worry about breaking down and it has a back seat so he can take his little brother places, and his friends! Of course, since he'll be busy with school and work there won't be many opportunities for socializing or doing things with his brother. But, at least he CAN!
Now the dealership is trying to sell us a second vehicle, but the vehicle they were trying to sell us had 38,000 miles on it and had several cosmetic problems. It also STUNK!! So I ask, would you buy a new/used car that had these problems? Or am I just being anal? When I buy a new or used car I want it to look and smell like a new car!
Not to mention it's not the car that I originally wanted to look at from this dealership. So, as you can see this week is full of emotions and changes in my life.
My house is a disaster, my emotions are a disaster and That Other Kid is feeling neglected, but after tomorrow he will become my full focus and he will probably be smothered with attention, since my first baby won't be around to love on.
Once I regroup from this week, I have to reorganize and clean the house and prepare for homeschooling kindergarten with That Other Kid. Oh how am I going to survive the next few weeks??!!
5 comments:
You can, because you must. That Other Kid is going to be missing his brother, and he's going to need you.
I understand. My oldest is still young, but I'm terrible at letting go as well. I cry every time I go home to visit family and then have to leave. But my boys need me, so I pull myself together and get on with life.
Not trying to give you too tough love, just a rational voice.
Throw yourself into homeschool! Tell us (especially me!) your plans. How goes it with your new student? Cherish every minute because, as you know, thirteen years sound like a lot, but it will be gone in the blink of an eye.
Hugs to you, Ann!
Take it one day at a time, girl! I know it will be tough, but you will get through it. Just think - you will be able to have some extra time for YOURSELF, everyone needs that!
XOXO
Ann, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I can only imagine how difficult it is to let your oldest baby go. It will get easier!!
In the meantime, please don't sabotage all the hard work you've done, by comforting yourself with food. I understand the need to self-medicate with a nice hot fudge sundae, but don't let it become a habit!! You have worked SO hard!!!!
That Other Kid will help fill the void you're feeling, so throw yourself into activities with him! Get out of the house and enjoy the outdoors, and maybe go visit That Kid every once in awhile if he's not too far away. I'm sure he'll be missing you just as much as you miss him.
Big hugs, girl!! I'll be thinking about you!!
*hugs*
I just cried reading this. I can't even imagine.
The first bit will be tough, but you WILL be okay. And before you know it, he'll be coming home to visit with all his nasty laundry.
Take some time for yourself, walk, tackle that home school curriculum. Take the other kid on a special date, just the two of you. Cause he's probably a little sad too.
Big hugs...
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